Nothing is perfect in life. For this reason, trying to achieve this in a marriage is a very thankless energy expenditure.
What can not be said about the desire for a harmonious, mature and fulfilling relationship.
In this article, we will look at the typical mistakes that men and women make in family relationships.
Mistake # 1. A pronounced manifestation of jealousy
In a painful format, this feeling is characteristic of both sexes. There are some gender differences:
Women are mostly fixated on jealousy in the present tense, shrouded in fears for the future. It is worth noting that during the analysis of specific examples, they note that for the most part everything started with their assumptions. But they believed in them so much that they regularly shared their thoughts with their spouses. Examples of their statements:
“You like this colleague of yours!” To such a remark, usually a man begins to prove the opposite, but at this moment his wife very colorfully seeks to prove her “rightness”.
“You helped our neighbor start the car, so you are interested in her as a woman!” At this point, the man’s arguments related to the fact that a week earlier he helped start the car to an elderly neighbor, his wife is not accepted.
“In the chat of your classmates, you constantly put emoticons to one person!” The question related to how this detail is known to the spouse, many men no longer raise, since their phone is regularly checked. Attempts to convince that the same emoticons he put and men, his second half is not accepted.
What is the result? Women, unwittingly, create ready-made cases for their spouses, in which you can find an object for infidelity.
From the practice of counseling, I can note that there are examples when men admit that they had thoughts related to paying attention to another woman at the suggestion of their wife. For some, everything remained at the level of thoughts, and someone put them into practice. It all depends on how regularly men receive such information from their spouses.
If women learn not to perceive their fantasies as facts, and also not to rush to broadcast their own suspicions to their spouse, then the risk of infidelity will decrease, and their own female position will remain at the proper level.
Men, in turn, can focus their attention on information about their spouse related to the past,and thus poison their own and her present. Usually, they get acquainted with such information at the beginning of a relationship. During this period, there may be frank conversations in which each of the partners talks about their past.
During consultations, women often have one serious question: “Is it necessary to tell in detail and detail about how many partners there were and for what reason they broke up?”. It is not easy to answer it unequivocally, since most men are not inclined to believe that a woman had one partner before him. At the same time, if they hear the number “two”, then it may already seem a lot and will create reasons for stormy imagination and emotional conclusions…
Of course, there is a category of men who are on the sidelines of this topic, but they are many times less than those who are pleased to feel like the only ones. For this reason, it is not useful to delve into the details of the past. But if there is one, it is very important to take responsibility for not returning to this topic.
It’s important to respect your decision to be with her. If this woman is around, then first of all you need not to betray your own choice.
Error No.2. During a quarrel, declare categorical phrases
Examples of such statements:
- “Let’s get divorced!”,
- ” Don’t like it? Go away!»,
- “Find yourself another (other)!»
At first, the partner who is not ready for parting, seeks to make amends and denies such a decision with all his might. The one who said it starts to like it, and he allows himself to abuse this manipulation. As a result, such a phrase becomes familiar, and at some point the desire to smooth everything disappears and the partner, who all the time sought to preserve the relationship, accepts the challenge heard and gives the course of events in the form of a decision to break up.
The decision to break up (divorce) should be balanced and conscious. The basis for it may be factors and circumstances that are incompatible with family life. It is dangerous and unwise to use such remarks as an educational maneuver.
Error #3. Share the conflict with your parents or friends (friends)
We are talking about situations in which there was no aggression, violent actions and other dangerous circumstances. If there was a quarrel related to a misunderstanding, then you should be very careful about whether you need to share it with someone.
Parents tend to be upset for their own children and keep a negative attitude towards those who have offended them. The couple will make up, and whether the older generation will forgive is a question.
As for girlfriends (friends), you can share with those who are time-tested and endowed with the ability to keep secrets, not betray, as well as support with constructive advice.
The union of two people is a world in which the atmosphere depends solely on how people are given to be able to appreciate themselves and their partner.